before we start, i'm really bad at writing (sorry)

I decided it's time to reflect on my career publicly because I think it helps others while also benefitting myself as I want to track my progression or just ramble for fun.

background

Since it's my first time writing about myself, I kinda wanna give some background on who I am.

  • born in 2005 by Chinese immigrants in a small city located in Tennessee, parents worked 996 in a restaurant as a waitress and a cook. We had like 300 Asian people total in my town :p
  • really loved video games, played a lot of ssbm and minecraft as a kid, played some csgo on a really bad laptop
  • eventually in high school I competed in Fortnite where I earned a couple thousand dollars and was top 500 in power ranking
  • I also competed in Valorant where I hit Radiant and was top 70 for a brief moment
  • outside of gaming I was alright academically, never really studied but I took AP classes and took AP Comp Sci A in senior year
  • I didn't rly care about college and just went to the University of Tennessee bc it was free and convenient
  • got my first internship at a startup called Nexus in TN as a sophomore, then I did research under a professor at my uni where I built stuff for the govt as a junior
  • now in NYC, I'm working at Google and am doing an internship in the summer at a VC-backed startup (wow!)

I don't really feel like writing about living in New York because I've only been here for 3 weeks, but it's been fun. It's crazy to think I indirectly got offers in NYC from Fortnite and Valorant.

getting an internship isn't that deep

I want to talk about how getting an internship or not isn't that deep. Since I got my two internships this season from Google and a startup, I really don't feel that different as an individual. I think a lot of people believe their life is going to just become sunshine and rainbows when the offer letter hits, and it does for a time.

When I first received an offer this year for a well-known company (that I eventually reneged), I was so happy. It felt like I was going to just suddenly transform and become a higher being; that is definitely my ego and immatureness talking though. It's pretty chill though and I'm still the same person. The only thing that changed is that I'm learning more and my pockets are getting fuller.

This isn't to diminish anyone's offers, it's super sick to get an internship, especially at a good company. I'm just saying that after actually being in the position I'm in, it's not the leap I expected. I was definitely chasing prestige, but now I just want to build. I've realized that I genuinely just want to execute on my ideas.

This writing really had no direction, I just wanted to ramble. I have no idea why you're reading this if you got this far, I write like a third grader.